When in Rome...

There's a reason that Colorado is the skinniest state in the country.  I come from one of the fattest states so I can really tell the difference.  This arid climate and the majestic mountains promote fitness.  I feel like I can walk forever when I'm here (thankfully the weather is incredible this trip).  I've been far more active here than I ever am at home.  I know it's partly because I'm on vacation, but it's also the atmosphere here.  It makes me want to be outside and moving around.

Ok, so I'm no expert photographer, but trust me, it's gorgeous out here.

We've been walking a ton and I caught a glimpse of myself in a shop mirror.  I'm not really horrified by my reflection anymore, but I still feel bummed.

It's my side view though, ugh.  My belly is huge and utterly unhealthy.

While I love being here(and not at work!), I'm almost desperate to get back home and on a routine.  Maybe when I come back next year, I'll be under 200 pounds.  Have I mentioned that that's my goal right now?  My current dream is to get to 199.  It feels so close yet so far away.

Lack of Commitment

So the thing is I haven't been real committed to losing weight because I knew I had an upcoming vacation. Now, most people would want to lose a few pounds before vacation, but I'm totally that person who is putting everything off until she's back home.  So I'm in Colorado eating Rocky Mountain fudge and I might feel guilty later, but not right now.

The Visitor Who Stayed Too Long

I like my husband's friends, but when I come home from work counting down the seconds until I can take off my bra, the last thing I want to see is one of their cars in the driveway. It sounds cruel or unwelcoming, but it is what it is.

I can handle having company over if they've been invited, but I just don't get these people who drop by unannounced to just hang out. I don't do that to other people.

Anyway, that happened two days ago and I'm still bitching about it:) My husband was also a little annoyed by the guy because he was cooking dinner and had to stop everything to entertain the guy who stayed for TWO HOURS! WHO DOES THAT?

Thankfully, my back is better and it's given me a boost in the exercise department. I've done really good workouts twice this week plus some yoga and stretching stuff 3 times. 

My eating has been fine, but I'm not really tracking it.

We ate Mexican last night at a restaurant called Jalapeños and I didn't get a margarita! I'm calling that both an NSV and a spend-less-money victory. I don't drink often, but I love margaritas from Mexican restaurants. 

Work is a little stressful because I'm trying to do a lot of stuff since I'm taking off most of next week and I'm such a stress eater, but I'm really making an effort to not keep food at work. It's mostly helping, but I swear that stupid vending machine winks and nods at me. Sigh.

Oh! I also had another episode a couple of nights ago where my heart started racing while I tried to fall asleep. I took my BP and the bottom number was in the 90s plus my pulse was 99. I've been to the doctor about this and was told not to worry. I guess it could be anxiety. At the risk of sounding like a hippie, I might try out some meditation exercises.

Pain in the behind

I tweaked something in my back a few days ago and while it's not Pain with a capital P, it's still an annoying little ache. I've been doing exercise for back pain videos from youtube.  I can't believe how much free material there is out there!

The most annoying thing about having back pain is that you make involuntary noises when bending over.  On one hand, it's a little funny, on the other hand it makes me sound like an old broken down woman.

One of the things I've read while searching for natural back pain relief, is that people with weak backs need to do core exercises. I used to be a big fan of yoga and pilates so I'm slowly making my way back into those things.  Becoming a yoga instructor was a fantasy of mine a few years ago. It's not just the fitness that I love from yoga, but the mindfulness and relaxation that I love.  I remember taking a hot yoga class a few years ago and leaving with a feeling that a weight had been taken off my shoulders.

Another thing that I loved about yoga and pilates is how they both helped flatten out my stomach. Even being overweight, I had a relatively flat stomach when I exercised regularly.  Now I've got rolls galore.

My pain is in my lower back, right above my right butt cheek.  It feels better when I'm up moving around so I'm hopeful this is a short term deal.

Overeating and overspending

I downloaded the Blogger app on my ipad mini thinking that it would help me write more often, but the app is very limited.  Also, I'm old so I don't figure things out as easily as I used to.  I do love technology though.

Yesterday was sort of a sucky day.  Well, the only thing that sucked was my behavior around food.  Everything else went well.

We dropped off my little boy at the groomer (I have 3 dogs, no human children) and walked down to Moe's restaurant (WELCOME TO MOE'S!!!!) for a little late lunch.  Only it was anything but little.  I had a burrito bowl plus a stupid amount of chips and queso and, of course, sweet tea because I'm Southern and that's what we do.  I left that place feeling miserable and barely wanting to walk.  Ugh, why do I do that to myself?  It was awful, seriously awful.

My dog won't sit still for a picture (or for anything, really), but he looks adorable!

We went to the Flea Market last weekend when it was actually cold and my husband took a picture of me walking from behind. Unfortunately for you, that's the picture I'm posting instead of one of my cute dog.

I also ended up spending much more money than I wanted yesterday.  I bought some new luggage because it's definitely time to retire my old duffle bags and I have a trip in a couple of weeks.  Who knew a suitcase could cost so much money? I'm not into designer labels or anything, I just got an average suitcase that would hold my stuff and roll around on wheels.  It was $60!!!  I sure hope my tax return looks good this year because credit card debt ain't cute and I've got my share of it.

Today's goal is to make a REAL effort to track my calories and not spend any money.

In Observation of Skinny People

I stare at skinny people because I'm creepy and can't help it. Well, maybe I don't really STARE, but I observe them, you know? I observe them the same way we observe rich and famous people. Only these are regular skinny friends at work and not someone with a million instagram followers and a nanny for their children.

There are two skinny friends that I'm pretty close to at work.  Neither one of them has ever had a weight problem and they are both fairly active people. They hike, bike and run around town.  They're both in their late 30s, early 40s and occasionally sign up for half marathons and spend months training for them.

Friend A is very adventurous and went zip lining for her Christmas getaway.  She kayaks all summer long and has a gym membership.  She's the type to only bring fruit and cottage cheese to eat for an 8-hour shift, but won't pass up free cake or donuts. She says she feels guilty after eating a "bad" meal, but I don't know what she defines as bad. 

Friend B is a light smoker and will eat 2 McDonalds cheeseburgers for lunch (the regular ones that come in kids meals). She says she doesn't feel guilty about what she eats, but feels bad when she goes a long time between getting in a long run. She reminisces about when she was really fit in her 20s even though she is in great shape now.

I notice that they're both slow eaters and don't make meals a priority-- at least not at work.  Like I make it a point to sit down and eat while they might grab bites here and there.  Also, they both are light social drinkers.

The reason I made a point to observe their behavior and relationship with food and exercise is because I have this idea that if I mimic their behavior I'll miraculously lose weight and be like my skinny friends. Honestly though, I'm probably just jealous of them for being healthy weights and living active lifestyles.

Health Restored

I'm 99% over my cold, but still have a lingering cough. Why does respiratory stuff take forever to go away?  It's just annoying at this point.

I've been doing some low-key exercise the last few days like walking and ab workouts from youtube.

I also did a few squats and walking lunges today. I'm going skiing in less than 3 weeks so I'm trying to focus on lower body and core work, you know, to make falling a little more graceful.

Admittedly, eating has been poor the last few days.  At the height of my cold, I barely ate anything but soup and hot tea.  I've been making up for that.

But that's all over and I'm ready to move on and reach for some stars!

Making of a Fat Woman

The only good thing about being sick is the diminished appetite. I'm actually not going to bed feeling stuffed and miserable.

Monday night I slathered Vicks VapoRub on my chest and got on the recumbent bike while watching tv.  I made it about 12 minutes before my respiratory system rebelled.  At least I tried, right?

Tuesday night and tonight were spent doing all of the chores that I slacked on for the last week while being sick so I've done a lot of movement by doing laundry, dishes and mopping the kitchen.  Oh!  I also put away the delivery truck at work today so that was kind of exercise.

I've been blowing my nose so much that it's all dry and flaky and super sexy looking right now.

Here I am in my natural habitat....

That picture is a good motivator for me to get up and exercise, but I'm still not feeling 100%.

Have y'all been watching Making a Murderer on Netflix? I'm a bit of a true crime junkie so I'm digging it.

Unhappy New Year

I'm trying not to dwell, I really am. But the New Year has been off to a rough start and I hope this doesn't set the tone for the next 12 months.

First things first, I weighed in at 234.5. That bums me out terribly.

Secondly, (TMI warning!!!!) My little chihuahua had two huge bloody stools. Like so much blood it's hard to imagine it came out of a little 10-pound body. This led to an emergency vet visit, which led to a $364 bill, which led to me whipping out an already overused credit card. The stress of it all also led me straight to McDonalds because that's how I deal with life. At least my baby girl will be ok.

This unexpected bill is in addition to the one I got on Christmas Eve for $304 when we had to be towed over 130 miles home after our truck broke down on the way to family Christmas festivities.

ALSO, I woke up New year's day with a lump in my throat and runny nose. Because, you know, being broke and overweight ain't any fun without being sick.

I have a membership to Planet Fitness that is only $10 per month, but at this rate that's a lot of money to be giving away since I don't go, like, ever.

Woe is me.