The joke that is true but not funny

While stuffing my face with chocolate, I joke with a coworker about our upcoming weight loss challenge at work, "I'm pumping up my weight before the big weigh in."  She laughs and says she's doing the same thing.  

It was funny to say, but feels sad on the inside.

Not surprisingly, I use every excuse in the book to treat my body poorly.  Yes, I believe it's truly an addiction that I have. I abuse food.

I'm hoping that having this weight loss challenge at work will keep me motivated for a couple of reasons: 1) it's easier to diet when everybody else around you is doing it too 2) THE PRIZE IS MONEY!!!!!

My next post will be my weigh in number and a "before" picture.  

Because I'm money motivated

The girls at work are starting up a weight loss challenge.  We weigh in the last week of December and pay $10.  At the end of March, we weigh in again and the person who loses the largest percentage of their weight wins the pot of money.

Since I'm clearly not motivated to lose weight for my own well being, maybe the added incentive of cash will help me out.

I really do love money.

Asking for a friend....

Does exercise make anybody else have to emergency poop?

What was I thinking?

Of course I can't lose 8 pounds the month of Thanksgiving.  Anything that I MAY have lost was gained over the last four days.
It's nobody's fault but my own.  I know this.
I'm so disappointed in myself.
The only good news is that I've been on a cleaning binge this weekend so maybe I've burned SOME of those calories off?  I've also put up the Christmas tree so that makes me feel a little happier.

Ugh...why can't I lose this weight?  Why do I want to self destruct?

Hoopla

Once upon a time ago (like in 2005 and 2006) I lost 100 pounds.  I did it all by counting calories, walking and doing workout videos.  There wasn't nearly as much free material back then as there is now so I had spent over a year doing the same 5 workout videos and counting calories on scraps of paper.

I say all of this to tell you about my favorite new find:  Hoopla!  Now I've had the free Hoopla app for a year or two, but haven't used it for workout videos until the last couple of weeks.  Hoopla might not be available for everyone, but it is connected to many public libraries.  All you have to do is enter your library card info and you have instant access to SO MUCH FREE STUFF.  I've been reading e-books and listening to audio books on it for a long time.

But this is what I've been doing recently....

The videos are only available for 72 hours after borrowing them so don't make the same mistake I did and borrow 10 videos all at once :)

For those of you who can't get Hoopla, Youtube is still a wealth of free material.  In fact, I did an old school Mari Winsor Pilates video this morning.  My buns will surely thank me later.  Now if only I could stop eating like a linebacker...

Weak Start

Today is November 5 so I thought I'd check in.  I'm kind of off to a weak start.  I start every day strong and pre-planned.  Then someone breaks out candy (I was even gifted a huge Hershey's Special Dark bar....my fave) and as much as I try to portion out the sweets, I still overeat.  It's all of that stupid Halloween candy that people are bringing to work because they don't want their kids eating it.  They don't care, however, that I stuff my face.  Hahah.

Anyway, when I left on Friday, the community candy bowls were down to the stuff that nobody (including me) wants.

Like I said in my last post, my goal for November is to lose 8 pounds.  I'll do a mid-month weigh in to see how I'm doing.

As for this weekend, I've got my Garmin strapped on and am hoping to rack up the steps.  It's actually pleasant outside today!

Don't forget to set those clocks back this weekend.  I love that extra hour of sleep.

At least I keep trying, right?

I've had my share of failures, especially when it concerns weight.  But the key is to keep trying, right?  Like I might give up each day, but I haven't given up on myself completely.

I weighed myself yesterday, which was the first day of the month and I was 237.5.  It could be MUCH worse, but it could also be better.  I have been about 3 pounds lighter for most of the year.  I did just return from vacation so I'm hoping that's why the slight increase.

I'm constantly hearing that we should make mini goals.  When things are easily attained, it doesn't feel like we're climbing mountains.  So my first goal is to be 229.5 on December 1. That gives me a full month to lose 8 pounds.  Yes, I realize Thanksgiving is this month, but I still think 8 pounds is realistic for someone my size.

Another goal I'd like is to blog more often.  When I'm not writing here it's because i'm embarrassed of my behavior. 

Does anybody else make mini goals?  Are they really easier on one's psyche?