What I'm eating

I love the idea of meal prepping for the week, but I just can't get excited to eat the same thing every day all week long.

But Sunday I put a whole chicken in the crock pot for dinner.  I'm using the leftovers to throw on salads for the next couple of days' lunches.


It turned out really good.  Just rub a whole bunch of spices (I used italian seasoning, paprika, salt, pepper, rosemary, and stuffed it with an onion) and let it cook all day. Delicious!

Have y'all heard of veggie tots?  I'm so addicted to these things and could probably polish the whole bag off in one sitting, but my husband helps me.

I know it's not as healthy as a plateful of steamed broccoli, but I'm going to enjoy my life.

Lastly, my Diet Coke addiction has now doubled.

Clearly someone needs to teach me how to rotate pictures.  hahah.  If you help me out, I might even share a new Diet Coke with you.  The Orange one was SO GOOD and so was the twisted mango.  I can't decide which one I like better.  There are a couple of other new flavors I'll have to try too.

I want it all or nothing at all

A million years ago I kept an online journal and every title was a line from a Bruce Springsteen song.  hahahhaa.  Gosh, my Bruce Springsteen phase was long and loud.

Anyway, I thought the line about wanting it all or nothing at all was most appropriate since my last post was about how precise I had been with my diet and exercise.  All it took was one Sunday filled with garlic bread and chips and dip to send me crashing down the diet mountain.  I've been in the throes of eating anything that isn't nailed down for the last couple of days.

I'm desperately trying to re-focus. It's such a struggle to teach myself to eat a "normal" amount or to exercise an "appropriate" amount.  I put those in quotes because what's normal and appropriate is different for each person.  I'm currently eating and exercising the normal and appropriate amount for a 230 pound woman.  UGH!!!!!

Weighty Anxiety

This is something weird that I know has happened before, but I'm really trying to figure it out.  I have a  bit of anxiety revolving around my eating and exercise schedule.  Like I'm almost manic when I know I need to go exercise.  Or freak out that I might have eaten too many calories.

It's really not mentally healthy and I remember doing this when I lost 100 pounds in my 20s.  It's like I'm so militant that I can't deviate from my daily plan or I'll just give up and fail.

How do I make myself relax?

I've proven that I need structure to lose weight.  Obviously I don't know how to eat until just full. I wouldn't have ended up over 230 pounds if I knew what "just full" felt like. 

I've tried to just eat smaller portions and take evening walks, but it never lasts long enough to show results.  I guess I'll just continue on my current plan of eating 1600-1800 calories per day and exercising 4 times per week for now.  Although I'd rather be neck deep in fried chicken and corn bread.

Two weeks

Weight on Jan. 1: 231.5
Today's weight:  229.5

I've had a pretty good diet and exercise groove going on lately.  While I'm upset that I didn't magically wake up 140 pounds, I'm happy that I'm exercising and watching what I eat pretty well.

Does anybody else feel more connected with their body while dieting?  It's like I become disconnected with myself when I'm constantly overeating.  Like it numbs me or something?

I can't wait to lose some of this weight and get rid of my many many back rolls.  Plus, my disproportionately large arms need to deflate a little.  I made my husband take a picture of my rolls.  Lol

I'm a little embarrassed showing this picture.  I know you can't see my face, but you're seeing something much more revealing and intimate.  I just need to remember that I'm working on this.  We are works in progress.

Not gonna lie, I kind of like making meal plans and grocery lists.  It's so much easier to stay on track when there are more apples and fewer Pop Tarts in the house. Not to mention, my bank account likes it too.

Oh!  That just reminded me of the major sticker shock I got at walmart the other day.  One pound of lean ground beef was $4.84.  I gasped!!! So I'm making some expensive, yet lean, salisbury steaks tonight.  Other than that, I'm spending way less on food than when we were eating fast food every other day.

On the mend

My cold went on far longer than I expected.  Almost 2 full weeks!  Today was the first morning that I didn't have to blow my nose as soon as I woke up.

I've been slowly recovering for the last few days though.  This past weekend I worked out both days and am still feeling sore from it!  I love this feeling so much that I'll do another workout today.

I've been binge watching The Crown and Call the Midwife lately on Netflix.  Does anybody else start talking in a hilarious fake accent after watching British shows?  It all started when I devoured the Harry Potter books and movies.  I definitely do NOT speak the Queen's language very well. Hah!

Should Auld Acquaintance Be Forgot?

As usual, I've been absent for so long because I've been abandoning all hope of weight loss and fitness in exchange for eating like a professional weight lifting man who is in prime bulking season. 

But it's the new year and I'm back and, you know, I hope to be here for a long time.

I've had a pretty bad cold for the last 4(5? I can't remember anymore) days so my energy levels have been in the toilet.  My sleeping is poor because I'm so congested and can only mouth breathe, which is super uncomfortable for me.  Even taking medicine only helps for a couple of hours.

The silver lining?  My appetite has been slightly reduced so at least there's that.

Today is the first day I woke up with some energy so maybe I'll get in a workout.  Anything will be better than the NOTHING that I've been doing for the last month.

Weight on January 1, 2017:  236
Weight on January 1, 2018:  231.5

My lowest weight of 2017 was 221.5 so my first resolution is to see that number again.  Ten pounds shouldn't take me too long, right?  Hopefully by Valentine's Day!