Thursday, January 18, 2018

Weighty Anxiety

This is something weird that I know has happened before, but I'm really trying to figure it out.  I have a  bit of anxiety revolving around my eating and exercise schedule.  Like I'm almost manic when I know I need to go exercise.  Or freak out that I might have eaten too many calories.

It's really not mentally healthy and I remember doing this when I lost 100 pounds in my 20s.  It's like I'm so militant that I can't deviate from my daily plan or I'll just give up and fail.

How do I make myself relax?

I've proven that I need structure to lose weight.  Obviously I don't know how to eat until just full. I wouldn't have ended up over 230 pounds if I knew what "just full" felt like. 

I've tried to just eat smaller portions and take evening walks, but it never lasts long enough to show results.  I guess I'll just continue on my current plan of eating 1600-1800 calories per day and exercising 4 times per week for now.  Although I'd rather be neck deep in fried chicken and corn bread.

Monday, January 15, 2018

Two weeks

Weight on Jan. 1: 231.5
Today's weight:  229.5

I've had a pretty good diet and exercise groove going on lately.  While I'm upset that I didn't magically wake up 140 pounds, I'm happy that I'm exercising and watching what I eat pretty well.

Does anybody else feel more connected with their body while dieting?  It's like I become disconnected with myself when I'm constantly overeating.  Like it numbs me or something?

I can't wait to lose some of this weight and get rid of my many many back rolls.  Plus, my disproportionately large arms need to deflate a little.  I made my husband take a picture of my rolls.  Lol

I'm a little embarrassed showing this picture.  I know you can't see my face, but you're seeing something much more revealing and intimate.  I just need to remember that I'm working on this.  We are works in progress.

Not gonna lie, I kind of like making meal plans and grocery lists.  It's so much easier to stay on track when there are more apples and fewer Pop Tarts in the house. Not to mention, my bank account likes it too.

Oh!  That just reminded me of the major sticker shock I got at walmart the other day.  One pound of lean ground beef was $4.84.  I gasped!!! So I'm making some expensive, yet lean, salisbury steaks tonight.  Other than that, I'm spending way less on food than when we were eating fast food every other day.

Tuesday, January 9, 2018

On the mend

My cold went on far longer than I expected.  Almost 2 full weeks!  Today was the first morning that I didn't have to blow my nose as soon as I woke up.

I've been slowly recovering for the last few days though.  This past weekend I worked out both days and am still feeling sore from it!  I love this feeling so much that I'll do another workout today.

I've been binge watching The Crown and Call the Midwife lately on Netflix.  Does anybody else start talking in a hilarious fake accent after watching British shows?  It all started when I devoured the Harry Potter books and movies.  I definitely do NOT speak the Queen's language very well. Hah!

Monday, January 1, 2018

Should Auld Acquaintance Be Forgot?

As usual, I've been absent for so long because I've been abandoning all hope of weight loss and fitness in exchange for eating like a professional weight lifting man who is in prime bulking season. 

But it's the new year and I'm back and, you know, I hope to be here for a long time.

I've had a pretty bad cold for the last 4(5? I can't remember anymore) days so my energy levels have been in the toilet.  My sleeping is poor because I'm so congested and can only mouth breathe, which is super uncomfortable for me.  Even taking medicine only helps for a couple of hours.

The silver lining?  My appetite has been slightly reduced so at least there's that.

Today is the first day I woke up with some energy so maybe I'll get in a workout.  Anything will be better than the NOTHING that I've been doing for the last month.

Weight on January 1, 2017:  236
Weight on January 1, 2018:  231.5

My lowest weight of 2017 was 221.5 so my first resolution is to see that number again.  Ten pounds shouldn't take me too long, right?  Hopefully by Valentine's Day!

Wednesday, December 6, 2017

Help Yo 'Self

I'm aware this sounds really cheesy, but I like Self Help books.  Not all of them, mind you.  In fact, the diet-y ones are the worst!  But the ones about being positive and taking charge of your life-- those are very motivating for me!

I just finished listening to this one...

It's free on the Hoopla app if your local library participates in Hoopla.

While it's not diet related, the tips that hit home the hardest with me are the ones related to my own self control.  I don't remember all 13 things she listed, but here's what I needed to hear:

1) Stop feeling sorry for yourself.  It's a waste of time.
2) Don't make the same mistakes over and over.
3) Don't give up the first time you fail.
4) Don't expect immediate results.

None of these really need an explanation and they can be related to any facet of life-- money, jobs, relationships, diet and exercise, etc.

One little piece of advice that stood out was about meditation.  She said that people who meditate regularly report better self control, and people with better self control report being more satisfied with life.  I know this all might sound cheesy to some people, but I believe it! 

If we all had better self control, we wouldn't be overweight, we wouldn't overspend and maybe, just maybe we wouldn't let our houses get so messy.  That would make ME more satisfied for sure.

Saturday, November 25, 2017

Regrets, I've had a few

In true Fat Girl Fashion, I went hog wild on Thanksgiving day.  Then on Friday I only went piglet wild, but still ate too much.  I did drag the husband on a bit of a nature walk so I got lots of steps in on Friday.

Today is Saturday and I solemnly swear to get back on track.  You see, I stepped on the scale this morning and had to fight back tears.  I'm only 3 pounds away from 2017's highest weight.  Hopefully part of that is just bloat from 2 days of overeating.  I don't want to start December off on such a high note.

How satisfying is it to know that January 1st is on a Monday?  That's like a dieter's dream.  The stars have aligned for the first day of the month/year/work week to start all at once.

Sunday, November 19, 2017

Netflix addict

I've been a bachelorette for a couple of days.  While I miss my husband, it's amazing how clean the house stays when I'm the only one here. He's not THAT messy, but he uses towels and plates and likes to leave empty coffee cups sitting around.  I totally don't notice it until he's gone for a few days.  hahaha

I've now watched 7 Christmas movies in the last 2 weeks.  My Netflix queue is filled with cheesy Christmas movies and I LOVE IT!

I'm also watching Stranger Things 2.  This season is taking me a little longer to get through it.  Maybe it's because it's sci-fi heavy?

I did a really intense workout on Friday and a slightly less intense one on Saturday.  My thighs have been on fire for 2 days now and it's such an amazing feeling. 

The scale hasn't been budging, dammit. Maybe if I'd stay away from the tacos, eh?