Sunday, June 17, 2018

The agony of being fat in a subtropical climate

It's so hot outside that I'm always so worried that I smell and will feed into the stereotype of being the smelly fat lady. 

I took a bath before going to the outlet mall yesterday but by the time I got back to the car I was like, OH GOD I better get home and take another bath ASAP.  I hadn't even walked around as much as I wanted to, but it was so hot that I couldn't keep going.  

It's so hot that I don't even feel like going to the beach.  I mean, at my size, I rarely feel like going to the beach anymore, but I still do it. To be honest, I prefer the beach in March and December down here.  The tourists are gone and it's usually pleasant to be out there then.

On Thursday it's supposed to be in the high 90s.  That's the day I'm driving to Ohio to see some family so I'm excited to get out of these disgusting temps.

When I'm independently wealthy, I'm doing summers in the north and winters in the south.

Tuesday, June 5, 2018

Here's your monthly reminder.....

...that I'm not dead, just fat.

I'm avoiding the scale like the plague.  I get anxiety just friggin thinking about it.

I'm making an effort to get at least 6,000 steps per day, which can be challenging some days since I have such a sedentary job.  Sometimes when I'm still at 3 or 4k, I'll put the fitbit on my foot and ride my stationary bike until I hit 6k.

On Sunday I did a really good 45-minute workout with weights and my thighs are still sore (and I love it!).  I intend to do a short pilates workout tonight after I finish washing the dishes.

I have MANY excuses for not sticking to a diet, but doesn't it feel like healthy foods cost so much money? Spinach and chicken breasts are great, but rice a roni and  PB&J sandwiches are more in my budget.

Sunday, May 6, 2018

Hopes Were High

Remember that time I started a blog about how much agony I was in because I'm fat? Then I proceeded to commit and re-commit then fail and re-fail on weight loss adventures? 

Then I'd disappear for a while because who really wants to admit that they spent the last several weeks being soothed (tranquilized?) by corn dogs and cupcakes?

I've lived in this vicious cycle for too long. I can lose and gain and lose and gain 10 pounds like it's  nothing.  Sometimes I feel detached from my body and it is agonizing. 

Friday, April 13, 2018

Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?

You've been out riding fences for so long now...

Does my taste in music date me? 

Here's the good news, my exercise has been decent. Good, in fact. Better than it has been in months. My eating, on the other hand is out of control. I'm ruining all of my hard work by diving mouth first into a plate of hot wings with ranch dressing. 

I have two upcoming vacations. One with a friend from college and the other with a friend from high school.  I'm so embarrassed for them to see me looking like this. Sigh.

Apparently I'm not so embarrassed that I'm putting down the French fries though.

This food addiction is no joke. 

Monday, March 19, 2018

What is wrong with me?

Everything was fine yesterday until about 10:30 p.m.  Then I sat in bed with a plate of leftover salisbury steak and roasted potatoes with sour cream.

It was Sunday and I had made a real effort to get over 6,000 steps and to do a yoga video.  Like it was a pretty decent day, but I ruined it late at night:(

In a not-very-smart move, I weighed myself this morning.  I'm 235.  For those of you keeping track (probably just me) that's 3.5 pounds up from January 1, 2018.  You know, the day that was supposed to kick off my healthiest year ever?

I won't/can't give up on myself.  I want to live to a ripe old age and be strong and independent while doing it. 

Tuesday, March 6, 2018

Bloody tired

Back in November I had routine labs done and was found to be slightly anemic with a 10.1 (normal is 11.1).

I had been giving blood regularly last year so my doctor just said to hold off on any more donations and she scheduled re-do of my labs in January.

So January labs were taken and while the anemia was slightly better at a 10.9, she did a full iron panel which showed my ferritin at an 11 (normal is 15) and iron saturation at 7 (normal is 15.5).

Doc asked if I'd been feeling tired or having low energy and I said no.  She recommends I start taking Ferrous Sulfate 325mg.

I get the OTC supplement and start taking it most days, but forget it every now and then.  Anyway, here I am realizing that I'm sleeping more than 8 hours almost every night and I feel exhausted every evening.  I normally would blame this feeling on being overweight and lazy, but now I'm really thinking it's the anemia.

I realize I'm not severely anemic and I also realize that I'm the Super Queen of excuses, but when it's 7 p.m. and I'm fighting to stay awake, I think it might be something other than inherent laziness.

I've been reading a lot online about anemia and it often takes several months to resolve even with supplements.  While I am loath to give up any excuse to not exercise, I really don't want to have this feeling of constant fatigue anymore.

Friday, March 2, 2018


My mood has improved significantly since my last post.  I exercised both Tuesday and Thursday evening and then woke up early this morning and did a 12-minute yoga sun salutation video.  I FEEL SO AMAZING!!!!

I need to remember this feeling right now. Yoga is a great way to wake up, but when the bed is so soft and warm, I forget about how good yoga makes me feel.

Anyway, diet still isn't 100% but at least I'm not eating until I puke.

My little chihuahua had a bit of a limp yesterday, but she seems fine this morning.  Wonder what that was all about?  My youngest dog has a grooming appointment tomorrow.  After I drop him off, I plan to take a nice long walk.  The weather is supposed to be beautiful again this weekend!