Monday, February 26, 2018

How many rock bottoms can one person have?

Friday night I ate until I puked.

It didn't even feel like a binge and I certainly didn't stick my finger down my throat.  I just ate until I got sick.

It started off with mozarella sticks and hot wings.  Then on to steak, baked potato, green beans and bread.

Soon after I finished eating, I felt some nausea, but it wasn't that urgent OH MY GOD and run to the bathroom kind of nausea.  It was the "eh, I ate too much so I'm just gonna sit here and never move again" nausea.

Then 5 minutes later I knew I was gonna throw up, but again it wasn't an urgent feeling.  Like I had time to put my hair up and grab a towel and kneel in front of the toilet before anything came up.

After it was all over I felt so much better.  I just figured something didn't agree with me, but that's not it. I had eaten until it hurt.  I had honestly eaten so much food my guts wanted to get rid of it.

Then a wave of desperation came over me.  I desperately don't want to be in that position ever again.  I desperately want to be a healthy person who can enjoy a nice long life.

I weighed on Sunday and it said 234.5, but I'm not recording it as an official weight because I was wearing pajamas and already had a cup of coffee.  I only record weights first thing in the morning without clothes and after I've used the bathroom. 

That being said, 234.5 isn't nearly as bad as I was expecting.  I guess throwing up that heavy meal worked in my favor for that one thing.


  1. I do the same thing with my weigh-ins, only buck naked and before I eat! I have had so many rock bottoms that I have lost count. So I guess the answer is, as many as it takes to finally make the changes we need to make.

  2. Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry for your struggles. I usually go the opposite direction and deny myself food for days. But then once I'm eating again I'll have a day that all I want to do is eat. It's a terrible cycle.

  3. I have been in that same position. New Years evening and New Years morning I was so sick from eating so much food. It is embarrassing and disheartening and just plain horrible! And I swear I will never be in that position again! (If only it were that easy to achieve.....but in working on it!!)