I'm sick of being fat and I'm scared of getting older while being fat. But I just can't figure out how to be consistent with my behavior. I'm disciplined in other aspects of my life, but when it comes to controlling my own damn body, I'm a failure.
I'm trying to be more grateful. Things aren't so bad, you know? I have a roof over my head and (too much) food in my belly and if I got fired toady, I'd still be able to pay the mortgage and the power bill for a couple of months without too much trouble. But my biggest dissatisfaction in life is my own physical being. It's so depressing.
Speaking of depressing, a nurse friend recommended I go on an antidepressant. She says it'll help with my weight. Do i really want to do that though? I don't think I feel depressed, but maybe I really am?
Anyway, I have labs drawn on Halloween then a doctor's appointment a week later. I may or may not talk to the doctor about antidepressants then. We'll see...
I am in the same boat. I write the same thing week in and week out. I'm so motivated....I failed....so motivated....failure. I am convinced though that it WILL click into place for BOTH of us eventually. Keep going forward and keep writing it down!
ReplyDeleteI think we all feel like we are on a merry go round. How can I be so mentally motivated and yet physically fall flat every week?
ReplyDeleteHope everything comes back good with your blood work. I would definitely talk to him about antidepressants. Even if you decide not to take them, the conversation might be helpful.
I definitely agree with the merry-go-round feeling. When I look at how long I have been trying to ditch this weight, I get overwhelmed. But I also agree that it will click eventually. Did your friend clarify why she thought antidepressants would help you out? Maybe talking to her before you talk with the doctor would help.
ReplyDeleteWould love a health update. I think we all struggle with the merry go round effect, it's a terrible cycle to end up in. But you have a strong support system and you can do this. I believe in you!
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